The following entry muses one of Hilmi’s continuous obsessions with his physical look – SHORT. It was originally published in http://www.dannyhussainy.blogspot.com on March 7, 2005. Hmm, he is one hell of a funny short man. Watch out, tall people.
My SHORT Tale
I am short.
With only five-feet-and-three-inch tall, I am always subject to various situations of belittlement, embarrassment, and to certain extent, humiliation.
I still keep my application form for the position of a MAS steward
I keep refusing my friend’s invitation to a modeling agency
I hate being in the middle of the standing crowd during any concerts at KLCC
I don’t ask my students to stand up when answering my questions
I avoid being paired with any giraffe-like guys for class presentations
I don’t usually walk side by side with my six-feet-tall friends
Adding to these insults and ridicules, I am always doomed to various unpleasant real-life associations.
Shortcomings are not welcome in any college projects
Shortsightedness is the sign of much dreaded aging
Shortcut scheme to rich and success is a disaster
Short-circuit is the curse for all KLians
Okay tall people, you can have a laugh now. I know, laughter is the best medicine. So keep laughing. Ha Ha Ha. Hi Hi Hi. Hu Hu Hu. Are you done? Okay now, short people, I have loads of good news for you. Take a look at these facts.
The SMSers use all sorts of short forms to save their fingers
The similes are used by bloggers to shortly show their feelings
The people’s names are shortened as terms of endearments
The telegram is composed of as shortest sentences as possible
The shortcut road is used by smart drivers to minimise the hassles
The effective minutes of the meetings must be concise and short
The short-listed candidates for an interview are a lucky bunch
The shorthand is an essential skill for students and reporters
Moreover, in Malay cultures, the fact that someone is short can be a blessing.
The marriage will last longer if short men marry tall ladies
The kancil, in Malay classic bed-time stories, was intelligent and short
The old Malay folks used to say, “kecil-kecil cili padi…”
Besides, many successful individuals are mostly from the short community.
The linguistic lecturer I adore so much was very brilliant, and short too
The CEO of my company is very transparent, and short too
The Japanese are very genius, and short too
The hobbit who got that ring was cute, and short too
The America’s Most Gorgeous Male Model is very handsome, and short too
(maybe their shortnesses make them strive more to compensate their shortcomings, uk?)
Linguistically, the English language is very happy to permit all sorts of amusing short forms.
WHO, CALL, ME, etc. – the products of acronyms
Enthuse, televise, liaise etc. – the products of backformations
Brunch, smog, motel, etc. – the products of blends
Math, bike, fax, etc. – the products of abbreviations
Burp, buzz, hiss, etc. – the products of onomatopoeia
(it is funny to realize that the terms ‘abbreviations’ and ‘onomatopoeia’ are two such long words for their short counterparts, isn’t it?)
So, all the shorties around the world, being short is not that bad, uh?
*the roundest applause*
From a short lecturer.