Flying With Love
The weather is so warm and pleasant inside the Low Cost Carrier Terminal, KLIA. A white couple is sitting in front of me, looking tired and patiently waiting for the flight to Kota Bharu, just like me. I have safely landed in Kuala Lumpur and I feel disoriented. My 8-hour flight from Melbourne was too exhausting. I didn’t sleep at all, feeling nervous all the time. The random selection at the Melbourne Airport made feel humiliated and tired. I felt like a criminal ready to make myself famous in Melbourne. Maybe I should say like Shah Rukh Khan in his latest movie – “My name is Khan. And I’m not a terrorist!”
But the humiliation did not end there. I was severely embarrassed when a flight attendant asked me to move from my randomly-selected seat. I had no idea that a seat was assigned for each Air Asia passenger these days. The management had apparently changed the rule and I was unaware of that. Thanks to this incident, I felt restless throughout the whole journey of 4000 kilometres. And the man sitting next to me was not smiling too. He must feel sorry for me. I wondered whether Air Asia was promoting a new version of MH – Malaysian Hostility.
But right now, I’m not feeling hostile anymore. I’m feeling nostalgic and melancholic. It is the same feeling that I used to have those days during my regular bus trips from KL to Kelantan. Right now, I’m just thinking of meeting my parents and the exciting prospect of my two-week stay in Kelantan. As I’m waiting calmly at the gate P12 here, I recall all the good and bad things I saw in Melbourne for the past 8 months. Just a few months ago, when a summer break had just begun, I was a happy boy in Melbourne, still exploring and enjoying the endless life of the city. I was so certain with my decision – I would only go back to Malaysia in August 2010 when I would start doing a three-month fieldwork there.
So I was happy to stay in Melbourne during the summer recess. I wished well with a broad smile to Donna before she left for Malaysia. I accompanied Sarfraz’s big homecoming shopping with excitement before he left for Pakistan. I bade farewell to Felix with a sheer joy before he left for Singapore. I happily said goodbyes to all my friends who left me in Melbourne and went back to their beloved hometowns for a good summer holiday. I was so confident that I could survive the break in Melbourne by indulging myself in my work. My idea of a good break was to spend a few days in Sydney. I thought that would serve as a reward for all my hard work and H1 achievements. But I was wrong. I was wrong. I was so wrong.
As a new semester began and all my friends came back to begin a new chapter in their studies, I felt something was missing. While I was so occupied getting all the materials ready for my acoustic experiment, I felt something was holding me back. I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling panicked and worried. When I told Felix about my sudden delusion, he said that I was homesick. Homesick? I dismissed that idea. “Nonsense, Felix!” I blundered with disgust. I was too proud to admit it. But the same recurring dreams came to me night after night and I knew that Felix might be right, that I was really experiencing a terrible homesickness.
I always thought I could handle my own emotions until August this year, but it was just unbearable. The thought of seeing my family members made me suffocated. Things started to look unnatural and abnormal. I needed to refresh my perspective and made sense of what I was doing in Melbourne. So, amidst confusion and bewilderment, I made a decision and broke my own smart plans. I finally followed my heart. I booked a flight home.
And it was indeed a crazy last-minute decision. A new semester has just begun and I was in the middle of important preparation for my lab experiment. While other students had just said goodbye to their parents, I would be doing the opposite. Two weeks only, Hilmi, two weeks only, I kept telling myself. I hated to admit that I was extremely homesick. When I broke the news to my Ayoh, he was just confused.
“Why? Will you be here for your work?” he said.
“No, Ayoh,” I said. “I just wanted to go back. I just wanted to be home again.”
I said that upfront with brutal honesty. Really. I had no other reasons when I frantically searched for the next available Air Asia flights. I just wanted to see my parents. Just that.
“Is everything alright, Hilmi?” Janet asked me when I told her that I had to reschedule the meeting.
“Of course, Janet. I just need a good break in Kelantan.”
“Oh, dear Hilmi. Don’t you worry. We’ll take care of everything here for you…”
I was speechless again by Janet’s motherly gestures. Her understanding and kindness amazed and scared me again.
“Oh my God… finally!” Felix shouted at me when I broke the news.
“I know,” I said, feeling defeated and childish. “I should’ve done this long ago. I should’ve followed your advice.”
Felix had been right all along. And Donna was more than happy too. She reminded me to eat as many Pisang Goreng as possible.
“Don’t forget to eat nasi kerabu and nasi dagang!” she said excitedly.
“Yeah, and I’ll eat Ramli Burger for you too!”
Sarfraz looked at us with a smile and said, “Hilmi, just tell me whenever you need me to accompany you to buy some gifts for your parents.”
“I’ll let you know, Sarfraz. But I won’t be like you – Muslim Santa Claus!”
Yeah, I didn’t shop till I dropped like Sarfraz. But I made sure each gift was wrapped with love.
When Mark finally sent me to the Melbourne Airport, he said, “You deserve this break, Hilmi. You worked hard during the summer holidays.”
Yes, I deserve all the best things in Kelantan for the next two weeks. I want to drive my Proton (I can’t believe that I have not driven a car for the past 8 months!). I want to eat as much as possible. I want to be normal again. Of course, I enjoyed my “normal” times in Melbourne, but there’s always a limit to normal happiness. Sometimes you just need abnormality to appreciate the normality, or vice versa. In my case, I just need to rekindle with my original root. That’s all.
So here I come, Kelantan. Get ready. A Budu Boy is flying home with love. Home.
.jpg "Big Lesson")
Experiment: Maximum limit to become an extremely homesick person
Subject: PhD slave, studying abroad.
Result: 8 months
Advice: To insert ‘balik kg’ plan in his yearly schedule, maybe every six months.
Hilmi yang bagaikan ikan pulang ke lubuk.
Selamat pulang ke lubuk!
haha… your analysis is so damn right, Ik! Yes, I should include balik kampung in my plan soon. Thanks!
p.s. I love my lubuk
Welcome home Cik Mi. As for me, I only be able to go back to Msia during Aidil Fitri. May you find the peace and the break even point that you were looking for.
Yes, Nell. I’m doing it right now in Pasir Mas. It’s very refreshing and fascinating. Don’t worry, your time will come soon during Aidil Fitri. In the mean time, work hard there!
So, I was sooooo right. Enjoy Kelantan, mate. We envy you. WAAAAAAAAAA! Nak balik!
Haha… 100 marks for you! I’ll see you soon during raya here in Malaysia, insyallah
Mie,
Gunakan waktu cuti sebaik-baiknya. Jangan terlalu suka nanti duka.
Aliff, thanks for the reminder. I’ll make the most of my time here